The Silken Trap - the biz

So You're Thinking About Using a Strapon

nospam@example.com (Guest Author) — Tue, 07 Aug 2012 08:31:43 -0700

Mistress Cherie's note - Izzy and I were Adam & Eve customers for YEARS, long before the internet broadened the array of sex-toy-shops to the dizzying variety we enjoy today. So when Ms. Katie Shaw approached me asking if she could submit a guest post to this blog about her experiences with the toys she found at Adam & Eve I was happy to agree. Hope y'all enjoy her tips on choosing a strap-on!

Katie is a freelance writer who enjoys writing for many different sites and blogs.

Strap-ons are great for everyone. Lesbians can use them for g-spot stimulation and other penetrating fun. Straight men & couples can enjoy the intense pleasures of pegging and the health benefits of prostate massage. Men who have issues with erectile dysfunction can use them to revive a wilting sex life. And for people in the bdsm world strap-on play can be used for all sorts of interesting purposes. Imagine the delicious humilation of being ordered to suck Mistress's strap-on in a forced bi scene, or being "allowed" to fuck her, but only while wearing a hollowed-out dildo over your own tiny cock!

You should always talk to your partner before purchasing a strap-on as it may be very intimidating, especially if you're a man. (Of course, this may be just the response you're looking for!) Strap-on harnesses come with lots of options, which gives you more individual choice but might also make choosing a harness a little more confusing.

If you're a women using a strap-on look for options that include a clitoral stimulator on the harness or for one that has a vibrator plug option for you. This way you can both be stimulated during your strap-on play. In this case, The Vibrating Dual Harness is a great option. This harness comes with a vibrator for your partner and a vibrator plug for you that can be used either vaginally or anally. It also comes with a remote, so you can control the vibrations while you're pounding away.

Harnesses that allow for you to change out vibrators and dildos are great when you're looking for variety. The Fetish Fantasy Elite Beginners Harness is not only great for someone new to the game, it also allows for multiple sized vibrators and dildos to be inserted through the O-ring. You can also wash it easily, which is great for when things get messy!

If you're a man suffering from ED you need to find a dildo that comes with a hollow attachment, so that you can grow inside of it and get stimulated you as well. The Hollow Strap-On For Him or Her fits the bill perfectly for this. It's also a great choice for the Mistress who wants to enjoy being penetrated while keeping her slave frustrated and humiliated.

I recommend looking for harnesses that include cushioning along the straps. This will ease the tension off of the wearer's skin and make sure that both of you are comfortable. If you're looking to stimulate the wearer while they are wearing the strap-on, you should look for harnesses that wrap around the legs, instead of thong-like harnesses. This will ensure that all entrances are open for play.

So after all of this, if you're thinking about taking the plunge into strap-on play, you should head over to Adam and Eve, where you can find all of the strap-ons I listed as well as many more to choose from!

Turning a Corner

nospam@example.com (Erisiana Cherie) — Mon, 07 May 2012 08:03:27 -0700

We quarreled again. And again, and again. And then he gave me a present. It was a porn movie. It occurs to me now that perhaps most women would not go all melty upon being given a porn movie, especially as a making-up-after-fighting gift. But for me, it was PERFECT.

We'd shot some video one night that had been screwed up because I forgot to turn the microphone on. He took that footage and turned it into a hilarious silent movie, complete with old-timey film effects and music. When he showed it to me I laughed my ass off the whole way through. Which I think was all he really cared about, making me laugh, but the gift was so much more too. And the more I thought about it the more perfect it was.

There are so many layers to it. On the most obvious level it reminded me of everything good about our relationship. All the laughter and silliness we've shared, the oh-so-delicious sexy play times, the way we've worked as a team. It told me like nothing else could that he wants to be my slave, that he wants just as badly as I do to get back to our "normal" life of perversion and pornmaking.

On an even deeper level it spoke to my Mistressly pride, which has been rather bruised lately. I know how many hours he spent working on it, and knowing how much actual work he would put into this gesture tells me that I can still count on him, even when it takes real effort. Beyond that he had to learn a new skill (video editing) to do it. Which tells me he's still willing to push past his boundaries, get out of his comfort zone and learn new things for me. These things are vital for the health of our Mistress/slave dynamic. I love him...adore him...and would want to be his friend and lover whether he were my 'slave' or not. But if we are to call this slavery then it has to mean something. I have to feel that he IS going to do his best to obey me, to give me what I want, no matter what I ask for. This demonstration that he's willing to work hard & learn new skills is exactly the proof my wounded heart was longing for.

There are other facets to it as well. I'll be able to use the video as the required monthly update on my clips4sale sites, so it spares me the work and worry of coming up with something myself. In this regard it's a seriously useful gift. I'll have a happy glow all month thinking of how I don't have to do that work thanks to him. And I have loved seeing his delight in not only learning something new, but in feeling like he's good at it. These past months of near-unemployment, being utterly broke and feeling unable to even help with the DIY work, have taken a toll on my pet's self-esteem. It makes my heart sing to see him sparked with gleeful optimism for a change.

I could probably go on all day about how many ways this porn-present delights me. But I have to get back to work; the long haul of turning sandpit manor into a lovely little home(cage) for my pet is not finished and the deadline is looming. But I think we've turned a corner now and for the first time in weeks I am looking toward the end with a heart full of hope instead of despair.

Fun fanmail

nospam@example.com (Erisiana Cherie) — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 11:48:51 -0700

Sometimes we get some very entertaining mail. Such as this piece, which I found so uh, inspiring that I had to share it with the world..

Good lord

That IS when my 'stunt double' would be filling in, no?

From: Mistress Erisiana Cherie
To: slv T
Sent: Monday, October 3, 2011 10:16 AM
Subject: [Fwd: ideas]

I just thought you would appreciate seeing this one for yourself, hehehe!

xoxoxxx
your Mistress

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: ideas
Date: Mon, 3 Oct 2011 13:16:17 +0000
From: [name withheld]
To:
Helllo Cherie!, love your videos!!! you can sit on my mouth any time for as long as you want!!! (LOL)here is a idea to use your slut, Tia. How about renting her to a big Black cock, deepthroat gang bang!! a video of her chocking and gagging on about 10 big Black cocks one after another in rapid succession would be a best seller!!! thanks for asking for suggestions.ps. you can sit on my face any time! ------
[name withheld]

Pegged by 2 Girls

nospam@example.com (Erisiana Cherie) — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 08:17:24 -0700

Here's a couple of screen shots from our latest video clip..

I've been sitting on this video for ages, nervous about publishing it in case Shy later changed her mind about being in porn. But as she's now started modeling for other sites I feel it's silly to hesitate any longer. So when she's famous, y'all remember you saw here here first, eh? ;-p

Delia won another Grooby!

nospam@example.com (Erisiana Cherie) — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 07:31:12 -0700

Ok yeah I know this is old news by now...I was busy! Really busy! No, really! :p ...but I have to mention that the beauteous Delia, one of my VERY favorite porn-making tgrils, has won her second Grooby award for "Best Independent/Amateur TG Site". Which she TOTALLY deserves! As you can see...

Congratulations Delia!

A faux-sub in the wild

nospam@example.com (Erisiana Cherie) — Thu, 03 Feb 2011 12:10:31 -0700

In the 5+ years I've been working as a professional sexpot, I've encountered a whole lot of crackpots who call themselves "slaves". Take this example I encountered today on twitter:

@LadyErisiana woukd you kidnap me making me a slave ( foot , human toilet , or sex slave?) Never letting me escape

This is pretty classic useless-wanker fodder. The guy's fantasy is completely unrealistic. I mean, what could possibly make it worth ANY woman's while to undergo the actual effort and legal risk of ACTUALLY KIDNAPPING him? A super hot kidnapping scene can be engineered between two partners who know each other well and have taken the time and trouble to negotiate. And a female-led relationship, where the guy lives in total submission to his Mistress, that's doable too. But actually kidnapping a random stranger? Seriously, hasn't everybody seen at least one episode of CSI by now?

But guys like this, instead of integrating their kink into their lives in a healthy and realistic way, choose instead to troll random women online. The modus operandi is to send an absurd and uninvited offer to as many women as he can, and get off on the responses of the few who actually reply.

These guys are worthless in the truest sense of the word; they offer literally nothing to the women they're hitting on. They barely even recognize that we are individual PEOPLE. To them we might as well be cardboard cutouts; we are merely random interchangable props in the fantasy. Anyone with a pussy and a flogger who talks back will do. I understand this but...well...sometimes I get in a mood. You know, the kind of mood where one's upbringing as a well-mannered southern lady succumbs to the urge to rip a new one in someone who is just asking for it? And today was one of those days. So I responded:

@s3cgarci7 Go buy a porn movie dipshit, and quit pestering busy Women with your trolling for free wank material. {link to my porn site}

He (of course, why stop when he's getting his fix?) answers back

@LadyErisiana plz lady

At this point (still in my mood) I attempted to DM him, and realized he wasn't even following me. So the guy wants me to put myself to great trouble and effort, risking lifetime imprisonment, to fulfill his perverted fantasy and kidnap him...and he can't even follow me on twitter? How fucked up is that? I respond again...

@s3cgarci7 You're such a worthless little wanker that you're not even FOLLOWING me. *eyeroll* Why should I want anything to do with you?

Now I've fed into his kink and he wants to keep the interaction going, keep me coming back with the nasty responses. So he goes on the offensive, insisting that HE'S the "real" one, I'm some kind of fake and clearly not up to the task...

@LadyErisiana I don't mean like a session nothing linger that thus is above you or your profession this is real shit believe that
@LadyErisiana I made other ladies like you call me crazy weird over of a kind yid see your something that I consider fake

At least, I think that's what he meant to be saying. It's hard to understand at this point because his writing has gotten so garbled. And you know what? My money would be on the garbled grammer being a result of him wanking off to the humiliation & rejection of my responses. Because THAT is what guys like this are really after - the humiliating rejection.

You can tell he's a humilation junkie by the nature of the fantasy he proposed: human toilet, need I say more? And just for fun I went to his twitter page, to see what kind of talk he'd been having with others. Guess what I found there? This conversation with another random woman he'd trolled...

@CLAUDIAmeatsix Are you crazy to stalk me kidnap me making me a(foot, sex, or human toilet) Slave ? Not let me escape 4 reals no games

@s3cgarci7 i think this is one of the most suitable situations where i can actually say 'WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?' :S

@CLAUDIAmeatsix lol just using twitter to my advantage I ask like 250 ladies what I asked you in s daily basis

@s3cgarci7 greaaat. get good replies most of the time?

@CLAUDIAmeatsix its my ultimate fantasy what I asked you .problem no girl like that I can't seen to find I asked professional domiatrixes

@s3cgarci7 that made a whole lot of sense just then. (y)
@s3cgarci7 yeah, i don't think you'll find any girl that will share the same "fantasy" as you. sorry mate.

@CLAUDIAmeatsix crazy physco girls , mistresses no no girl no where I asked over 30,000 from all over the world

@s3cgarci7 i can see how you find it so utterly entertaining.

Do I still think that there are many fine and worthwhile men in the world? Absolutely. I have several in my own life and some of them are my real-life slaves and submissives. But as a sex worker I've been astonished to discover just how many worthless wankers like this there are, who fulfill their kink by using women while claiming to be submissives or slaves.

Falling into The Silken Trap

nospam@example.com (slave tia) — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 00:00:00 -0700

Years ago I created and developed a website, "The Silken Trap".

I created it because at the time there didnt seem to be any good forced feminization sites out there (in the wild-and-wooly days of the internet in the 1990s!) and I just wanted the kind of site that *I* might like. I've been kinky nearly all my life, and this particular fetish got into my subconscious at a pretty young age.

Forced feminization was, to me, a form of bondage both mental and physical. In my mind the equation was this: if a Woman went to all of that trouble to enslave me, to feminize me, to wrap silken bonds around me and keep me her prisoner then she must really want me, and that feeling of being kept and desired and secure was the most delicious feeling in the world.

At the time I ran the site, I did not have a Mistress. Like many frustrated submissives out there.

Over and over I would have dates with Dominant women that didn't lead anywhere, or try to develop relationships online with Dommes across the country; a neverending and emotionally exhausting search for 'The One'.

A journey that I know so many of you are on...

After many a lonely year on that journey I gave up for a while. Resigned myself that these needs and desires would stay just fantasies forever and I should just accept it.

And then...the unexpected. She came into my life. The 'One'.

Mistress Erisiana Cherie.

My owner. My dream come to life.

She came into my life and turned it upside down. I am now her slave, 24/7, and in the past two years I have been taken on the most wonderful, magical journey. Limits have been pushed. Self discoveries have been made.

And some of the hottest, kinkiest experiences of my life have been had.

And its not over yet, not by a long shot! The scary thing (to me) is that Mistress is taking our relationship, our journey together, more and more public as time goes on. You've already seen this blog that goes into our lives together as Mistress and slave. Mistress is now adding to that public humiliation and exposure by completely taking my old forced feminization site--the one where I used to post pictures of OTHER people--and turning it into a video record of my slavery to Her.

groans Sounds like a forced fem fantasy story, doesnt it?

Except to me it's oh too real....

The Silken Trap

A faux-domme in the wild

nospam@example.com (Erisiana Cherie) — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 00:00:00 -0700

There is this domme who runs a very popular online group.

I strongly suspect this domme is not a person who physically exists, but is an online persona constructed by someone with a deeply held fetish. I further suspect that the creator of this persona is not even female, but a male sub who is perhaps assuaging his own desperate longings by creating this dream dominatrix persona.

What makes me suspect that this "domme" is not a real person? Many, many things don't add up:

Her pictures are, almost without exception, obviously stolen content lifted from pornsites etc. The very few which she claims are of her/her sub could just as easily have been stolen.

Her descriptions of female sexual & relationship responses are grossly inaccurate. Her women are all instantly intrigued when they discover a guy is a sissy. They get wildly horny from nothing more than watching the sissy get dressed up and do his thing. They never have any hang-ups about taking multiple other male lovers, or seem particularly concerned about things like birth control and STDs. They cum at the drop of a hat as soon as a "real man" sticks a dick in them. If real women reacted like this, why would it be so hard for sissy guys to find a Mistress?

And do I even need to add that these "real men" are never anything but stunt cocks in this Mistress's tales? They appear as needed, as if ordered from Studs-R-Us, and vanish again as soon as the sex scene is over, with never any messy relationship issues, needs, or wants of their own.

All her claims are unrealistic at best. She claims to have a large manor-style house where she lives with her cuckolded sissy slave. Supposedly any woman who has a recalcitrant male in her life - be he husband, son, or even her own boss - can bring him to this domme and leave him there, where he will be forcibly restrained, beaten and tortured in various ways until he's transformed into the perfect sissy.

Keeping someone imprisioned against their will, beating them and using things like cattle prods on them, forcing them to undergo hormone treatments and sometimes surgery? Doing these things not only to consenting adult males but even to underage boys? In the real world these are CRIMINAL ACTIVITIES. How realistic does it seem that a domme would be able to engage in this level of publicly admitted criminal activity for years, with hundreds of victims, and not get in trouble with the law?

To the best of my knowledge, this domme has never met anyone in person. She claims to have met lots of people, and even posts letters allegedly from those people. But all these letters are posted by she herself, and are strangely similar to her own writing style. And in the several years I've been observing her I've never once seen a letter from any of the thousands of people that follow her that says so much as "thanks for writing me back". If she's "helped" so many other dominas and sissies wouldn't you think at least one of those people would have publicly thanked her?

Let me clarify that last point a little: people thank this domme all the time. They thank her for being an inspiration, for understanding what sissies long for. They thank her for posting her writings and running her groups. They even, sometimes, thank her for transforming all those sissies through the years. But never in a personal "oh, when I brought my husband to you he came back so much improved!" kind of way. Rather she gets thanked in the generic "you do so much for all us sissies" way. You know, like a random fan might thank any celebrity for "doing so much for their fans".

In her writings, which she always presents as true stories, people constantly do things that simply don't happen in real life. She writes, for example, of arranging weddings where the assembled vanilla guests don't bat an eyelash when the groom unexpectedly appears wearing a wedding dress. And then as soon as the ceremony is over the same vanilla guests line up to take a turn in the sissy husband's mouth right there in the church!

Now seriously, how can anyone who is not willfully deluding themselves think this is something that happens in real life?

But this "domme" tells equally outlandish stories All. The. Time. And all while continuing to proclaim that it's all 100% real, and that she has personally "helped" hundreds of sissy males and dominant women to find happiness. And this is the point at which it becomes difficult for me to stomach. Because at this point, she is not helping at all.

In fact, by giving so many men the idea that such an outlandish fantasy-domme really exists, and that these things really happen, this domme is actually hurting people. She is persuading real people to model their behavior and expectations on something that is fantasy. And that is not going to help the sissy guys who follow her find a real domme owner, I assure you.

I believe this domme is really the fantasy-contruction of a male submissive for one simple reason: none of her activities seem to ask for money. If there was a sales pitch somewhere along the line I would call her a faux domme who is selling a porn fantasy. Since there isn't, and since this sham has been running for a long time, I think it must be a case of a desperate submale who's found an unusual way to assuage his need. But the red flags in this case are highly illustrative of what to watch out for with other faux dommes.

And THAT is the reason I am writing about this here. I've deliberately not named names or posted links; I've no wish to "expose" her or get involved in a big internet drama. And I know perfectly well that if this faux-domme were to disappear tomorrow two more would pop up to take her place. But the falsehoods I see coming from her are typical of the breed. And judging from the breathless adoration of her fans, either a whole lot of people are playing along with the fantasy - or there's a whole lot of clueless sissy subs out there.

I believe rational people (I'm talking to YOU!) ought to be able to figure these things out for themselves. And I hope that my giving specifics about this one instance of fantasy passing as reality might help a few of those misled sissies get a clue.

You see what I have to put up with?

nospam@example.com (Erisiana Cherie) — Tue, 18 Jan 2011 04:49:40 -0700

As I've mentioned before, my slave tia is an incorrigible smart-ass. Which means that I often have to edit various bits of impertinence out of our porn videos. Today, for your amusement, I present this little collection of smart-ass moments.

Note the riding crop that I use to bring him back in line.

Tia Transformed and Taken

nospam@example.com (Erisiana Cherie) — Tue, 28 Dec 2010 14:08:15 -0700

I've been busy doing xmas stuffs with Izzy and the kids. And tia's been out of town visiting his parents in the snowy north. So this blog has been quiet for a little while.

Which assuredly does NOT mean we've stopped being naughty. *wickedgrin*
In fact, I've got enough backlogged material for several salacious posts. Including these screencaps taken from a video we did just before Tia left on his trip. We'd been celebrating, and I got my slut a little tipsy...which naturally resulted in him begging to be turned into my pretty sissy fucktoy:

I love the anxious, worried look on Tia's face in this one. As if he wasn't begging to be turned into a slutty girl like this...

And then fucked like a bitch in heat...

Which, of course, is exactly what I did. It's good to be the Domme!

On a related note, I've (somewhat reluctantly) decided to close my Southern Charms site. Even with only 2 updates a month, the bare minimum they will allow, I still spend 6-10 hours a month working on that site. And the simple truth is I make more money if I put those hours to work on other things. There are lots of reasons for this; their traffic is not typically seeking my sort of fetish content, they require time-intensive still photo sets, and they discourage (better-selling) video content in member sites to name a few. But the single inescapable conclusion is that MY time is better spent elsewhere.

And the elsewhere I plan on spending that time is on a project devoted to showing - in pictures and video and hardcore GRAPHIC detail - one man's descent into feminized sissy slavery. Stay tuned for more details! ;-D

Amazon shemale slave traders from Venus!

nospam@example.com (Erisiana Cherie) — Tue, 14 Dec 2010 14:24:21 -0700

Have I mentioned that I am a total sci-fi geek? I will watch (almost) anything with a spaceship in it. Or a robot, or an alien monster.

So a few days ago when I was filming this strap-on stroking video, and I was trying to think of what to say (always the hard part for me), I wound up going off in a VERY geeky direction. I started relating a hentai-inspired fantasy involving me as an Amazon Vixen from Venus, who also happens to be an interstellar slave trader with a HUGE THROBBING SHEMALE COCK.

WHICH, of course, YOU as my newly captured slaveboy are now going to service. *evilgrin*

If you manage to please me you'll earn a place in the pleasure houses of Venus. Fail, and it's off to the hell-mines of Mars!

What amazes me is that I went through the whole thing without giggling. I laughed my ass off during the editing! But it was still some damn hot porn. Click the pic for a little taste...to see the entire video you'll have to visit my Clips4Sale store.

I'm the newest Sex & Love blogger for Creative Loafing! :-D

nospam@example.com (Erisiana Cherie) — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 09:20:11 -0700

Hiya everybody!

I am OVER THE MOON to announce that I've joined the team of Sex & Love bloggers at Creative Loafing.

Come check out my first post, and be sure to leave me a comment!

I will be a regular contributor, writing about the Tampa Bay area's alternative sexuality scene as well as my adventures as a kinky wife & mom, pro dom, and pornmaker. Feel free to write back to me with your questions, comments, observations and of course if you know about a group or event you'd like to see mentioned.

Did I mention I'm thrilled? I think I'm gonna have to knock off early today and have a champagne lunch to celebrate, hehehe! In case you've never heard of it, Creative Loafing is like the Village Voice for those of us south of the Mason Dixon line. It's got regional issues in most of the major cities, and anybody who's looking for hip entertainment around here turns to CL. I grew up around here, and CL was our beacon of coolness in an era when they rolled up the sidewalks at 8pm. Add that it's my first paying gig as a writer and it's doubly exciting. (Note that we're working with a special writer's definition of "paying gig" that includes peanuts.)

Anyway, please come and check it out!

The dildo? It's for work. No, really!

nospam@example.com (Erisiana Cherie) — Fri, 12 Nov 2010 00:00:00 -0700

One of the attractions of being a pro domme, and of making porn to sell, is that it leads to so very many interesting experiences.

Take yesterday, when I was honestly able to say "I'm off to do my weekly volunteer shift at the kid's school. But first, I must stop and buy a dildo. It's for work!"

Now how many of you would LOVE to be able to say shit like that and have it be TRUE? Uh-huh, I know you would. ;-D

The experience continued to be interesting once I was actually at the adult bookstore. I was grinning kinda maniacally, and chortling to myself (I do this all the time when thinking of porn I plan to make, ask tia) while perusing the dildo selection. I finally opted for "El Baron Latino" and took it to the counter. I was literally biting the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing as I contemplated how well my Latin Baron was going to perform in the foot fetish videos I was buying him for.

And then I looked up, into the fresh, smiling face of the twenty-something young woman behind the counter...

And realized she thought I was a horny, frustrated, middle-aged housewife who was maybe a little TOO happy about having a new dildo to masturbate with!

Yeah, that made it even harder to keep a straight face as I walked out the door, thinking "oh honey, if only you knew!"

S**t Happens

nospam@example.com (Erisiana Cherie) — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 00:00:00 -0700

Once upon a time my son (aka aspie boy) was a wee lad of three or four years old. At this tender age he was already a dedicated artist, decorating any surface he could reach with any sort of writing/coloring implement he could find.

One day he decided to experiment with more organic media. He began using his own poo to paint with.

He painted the walls. He painted the furniture. He smeared it into the carpet and rubbed it all over his toys. He even daubed it on himself, taking special delight (it seemed) in working it into his hair.

Now this is pretty normal, right? At least, that's what the pediatrician, other parents, etc and so on would assure me when I mentioned it.

But my son? He did this not once or twice but three or four times a day.

EVERY day.

For about SIX MONTHS.

I spent hours every day literally scrubbing the shit out of things. Ever tried to get half-dried poo out from between the prongs of a lego? I recommend avoiding it if at all possible.

This was before we even knew about his autism. And yet, somehow, I managed NOT to murder anybody. There have been other rough times, and I'm sure will be more to come, but that was certainly the {ahem} crappiest.

And that, dear readers, is why I will not do scat or "human toilet" play as anything but a cyber-fantasy.

C'est la vie

nospam@example.com (Erisiana Cherie) — Thu, 30 Sep 2010 00:00:00 -0700

I wrecked the family car this week.

It was unarguably my fault. I was preoccupied with my own thoughts and drove right through a red light. Lemme tell ya, I felt awful for the poor tourist who hit me.

As for myself...well, I am physically uninjured. And the damage to the car doesn't actually seem that bad; a smooshed rear passenger door and side panel. But the car is so old that it seems likely our insurance company will opt to pay us the blue book value rather than shell out to repair it.

This wouldn't be such a bad thing IF we had the funds to buy a replacement. The car has the automotive version of leprosy anyway. Plastic bits you'd never think were important - like door handles and dashboard knobs - have disintegrated in the hot Florida sun. There's a fossilized mass of gunk that used to be a vanilla milkshake welded to one floorboard, and dents on the hood and roof from where our son (the autistic one) thought it would be fun to play atop the car with a brick. The trunk won't latch and is held shut with a bungee cord. The cheap self-tint film some previous owner applied to the windows is peeling off and starting to affect visibility. If we had the money to replace it with something in better shape I'd be shrugging the whole incident off with a "c'est la vie" and being grateful that nobody was injured.

But we don't. All we have is the pittance the insurance company will pay us for the car.

And the thing is, it's worth a lot more than book value to us. Despite its issues this car is THE reliable transportation not just for Izzy, myself and the kids but also for my mother, tia and his roommate. There's little chance of finding an equally reliable replacement for what the insurance company will pay us. So what should be a minor crisis, easily remedied, becomes a potentially major catastrophe. (And this is what the alleged "recovery" looks like to those of us who are clinging desperately to the lower edge of middle-class.)

It's ironic because I am one of those people who's a fanatic about obeying traffic laws. I'm the sort who will sit through a red light at 3am when there's obviously no traffic for miles because IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO. So naturally the one time I fail to pay adequate attention results in a collision.

But the biggest irony? The thoughts which occupied my mind so much that I failed to mind the road were worries about money.